Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
