Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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