We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Barsexuality is the new black.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
