so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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