is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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