You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
