I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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