don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
