I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
