Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
