Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
