Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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