I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
