does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize