just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize