roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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