Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
