As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
