And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
