I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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