I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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