naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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