if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize