My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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