i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
