So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
