I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
