They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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