belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
