I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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