New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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