i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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