Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
