What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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