Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She even gives head with a lisp.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
