If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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