i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
