"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
