They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
