heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
