Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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