Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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