friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
