The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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