christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
