lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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