she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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