have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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