We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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