If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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