at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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