i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
