She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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