she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
