I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
